rough draft.

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Every one has that one thing that was hard at the beginning but got easier over time right? Practice  makes perfect i was always told. When i was little i loved running around and playing sports. that all changed when i was nine years old, what i loved to do was taken from me. The doctors said i would be lucky if i could ever walk again.

A snowy day, February 23, 2005 was the start of a new beginning. It had just stopped snowing, a break in the action as i was heading to my best friends birthday party. we were all in the car Mom, Dad, Judd, Madd’s and I. the car in front of ours stopped short so my dad hit the brakes, and we slid across the yellow lines right into on coming traffic. That was it, i though my life was over along with every one else around me. once i finally came to, back to consciousness, i realized i  was very wrong. it was a screaming silence, and a blinding darkness, like things were in slow motion, i did not know what just happened, when i figured out, i also figured out i was stuck.. with every one running around who would hear me yelling? My dad had to pull the whole driver seat out of the car for me to be able to get, but that was the least of my worries. when i was finally out of the car i fell to the ground i couldn’t walk. i was carried to the ambulance and taken to the closest hospital for them to send me home with a fractured knee cap, and the other one twisted.

a week later i was wheel chaired in to an orthopedic for them to tell me it would be a miracle for me to walk again because of all the damage i have sustained to my joints. i was horrified, no more running around like a normal kid no more playing sports no more anything. Moving either of my legs i was in serious pain. I didn’t know what i was going to, there was no way this could have happened not me, but it did.

I started with a cast that i could put on and take off depending on how i was feeling that day, that was a chore in itself. I had to do all these little things, bending my knee and straightening it out; my dad would have to help me and force me to do it because of how bad it hurt. After the first 6 months in physical therapy i was able to put some of my weight on my legs, i had to stand with walkers and crutches. while i was standing i would have to bend my knees like i did sitting down before. three months after that i was able to hobble around with the walkers and crutches and i amazed my doctors.

I was determined that i was going to walk again nothing was going to stop me. No matter how bad it hurt or how bad i wanted to stop i didn’t. i had to go on in pain, with the crutches till i was confident in my self to walk with out them. a few times i thought i was able to but i was mistaken, i fell and i cried, but i got back up. three more months went by, i was using the crutches full time and my knees were feeling a lot better. One day i was at my physical therapist and he had me stand up with my crutches and took one of them from me ad had me stumble around for over an hour with just one crutch. i was so nervous i was going to fall but he walked with me, and made sure i wasn’t going to. at the next visit he had me do the same thing, this lasted over a month. After that month was up he had me stand up with out my crutches. he stood in front of me with his arms out to catch me if i fell, which i didn’t do, i did stumble and trip a little but i did not hit the ground. Then all of a sudden he let go, i was taking my first steps all over again. I couldn’t believe it and neither could he. He yelled for my parents and they came running thinking i had fallen again, and to there amazement i was walking. I was able to walk right over to them, i had to sit right away but i was still walking.

till this day i think about how lucky i am that i am up and walking around. Especially when everyone including myself thought it was never going to happen again. I still have an occasional issue with my knees, when its cold out or raining i am in pain  and i am still in physical therapy. No matter how hard it is i continue to get better.

 

 

 

 

 


2 thoughts on “rough draft.

  1. I really liked how you opened this with a question, engaging the reader. It’s an effective way to connect with the reader. The details really put the reader in the moment, understanding how difficult it has been to regain what you lost, and also to see how you have been affected. There’s a great amount of detail, and the structure is good. The end leaves us with a good sense of progress, and of how, though you still face some issues, your determination has gotten you so far.

  2. This is a clear example of persistence certainly, and overall well organized.

    A few things to look at in revision:
    –I think the first para. could use some work. The first two sentences don’t seem to connect to the rest of the para. I’d suggest starting with how much you loved to run around, with maybe a few more details (Try it without those first two sentences maybe?), and finish the para with mention of the accident or reference to it, as you do.
    –I’d cut back some on the actual accident perhaps, so that you have more room to talk about the rehab process in more detail. I think many people (including me) don’t realize what a grueling process it can be. You do a good job in that next to last para. showing the scene of walking without crutches–could use more like that of earlier part of process.
    –You have a lot of proofreading to do–watch particularly for run-ons and be sure to capitalize “I.”

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